The day of doom and gloom has arrived. The King was scheduled to bring forth the torturous, and his most personally gratifying - event of his first term as King. It will be called the People's Day of Liberation!
His speech is ready, the television cameras are aimed, and on cue, he steps into view. The world's eyes are looking with wild interest and their ears are waiting for the words that may send every person into an elation of applause, into deep fits of depression, or self-administered Hari-Kari!
He speaks. I, alone, have decreed that my kingdom is assessing a 40% Tariffs on large countries, 30% Tariffs on middle-sized countries, 25% Tariffs on so-so sized countries, and 31% Tariffs on those uninhabitable islands down by Antiartica and out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The penguins living on those islands will have to find some way to pay the tariffs.
It will be "short-term" pain, but "long-term" gain! Sorry, no questions today. And from you folks who are watching and listening from foreign lands, it's all going to be just fine!
Oh, yes. . . that's right - Putin will be assessed 0% additional Tariffs. .
Gotta' run now. I have a Tee Time this afternoon and tomorrow, but everything is in place and the Tariffs will start tomorrow!
See you all soon!
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