It was a dark and rainy night, and it was the best of times and it was the poopiest of times. The people I nominated for my Cabinet were falling like rain drops all over the place. How did I get so many jerks on my list? They're all losers! I have a wanna-be killer, drunks, sex perverts, crooks, and imbeciles! About the only thing I don't have is a damn Democrat! I am, however, trying to keep my eyes on Mrs. Dog Hater. I would soon have her in my gunsight and soon she will be mine! She'll never harm another dog again!
But, back to the Cabinet nominees. Take the guy I tagged for the biggest job in the joint - you know, that big five-sidded building. Well, he turns out to be a drunk, a party animal, and an idiot. How come nobody told me? Actually, I would have put his name at the top of the list.
Then there's that idiot I almost made Attorney General. I didn't know he liked under-age girls. Honest! I guess the loser had a few other strange quirks that didn't help him much, either.
And how about that guy I thought would make a great chief of the FBI? Well, I'll admit he's a little strange, but that loser had his own "hit list". . . with 60 names!! Good God! No little wise ass is going to out-do the boss' list!
I've already switched that guy who likes underage girls with a real cutie. She might make a great Attorney General. Wait - what? She is what?.....
Maybe I'd beter turn the rest of this over to the FBI to investigate. Maybe there is something to this "vetting."
I'll just fly around here in the clouds and wait for that lady dog hater to show herself.
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