Out of Nothing, Comes Less

The Greatest Deal-Maker That Never Lived

Once upon a time there was a man who thought of himself as the greatest deal-maker in the whole world. 

During his first ninety days in office as president, he made more than 200 tariff deals with innocent and unaware places around the world. In at least three desolate island in the South Pacific, there are now tens of thousands of penguins who will need some schooling on what they need to know about their tariffs because there are no humans to teach them.

He has also touted the fabulous deals he has made with the tortured "illegal" aliens. Since he has made the decision that America no longer has a use for them, he has furnished each one of them with free transportation to any wretched land that has insanely wicked prisons where they can lay around and enjoy early retirement for the rest of their lives. 

Perhaps his biggest deal that is still in the planing stage is his wholly unselfish gift to Americans across the nation. He is making it possible to allow him to give we, the people, an extra four years of his wise and generous time as our president.  That will take some work, since we'd have to change the constitution, but to have such a stable genius for another term would be worth it.   Come on, who isn't in favor of that?

One correction just came in, however.  Those "more than 200 tariff deals have already fallen apart. More on that later. 

Also, the free transportation for the one million people he wants to deport. . . he wants to collect the travel expense from each one before they board the plan or ship. Someone just told him what  all of that will cost.

Lastly, perhaps his proudest deal of all was when he convinced each and every one of his top-notch team of Cabinet scholars to forego their big public paychecks and work for their government for awhile. We owe them a big thanks  - and a cheapened rate to go back and finish their schooling!  (good gawd, what rock  did he find them under?)

More corrections are coming in, folks.  I'll post all corrections next time!